I don't get it. The examples are so random. But why would we want random labels? The whole point of labeling is to make it all that much less random, right? Which makes me think- the whole 'random is cool' thing, that's weird too. Because aren't they also about the 'searching for the meaning of life' thing as well? And those two are just at opposition with each other. To make things random would be to strip them of their meaning, right? Everything is coincidental, happenstance, an accident. There would be no common ties, no purpose, no meaning. And so, you enjoy randomness. You seek to surround yourself in it (for reasons that are inexplicable, or perhaps not, we'll talk about this later) And yet you lament the lack of meaning in your life. Is it any wonder why you can't find what you say you're looking for?
So why is randomness a state that is desirable? We've already established it's at odds with your whole search for I need/want to find life's greater purpose/mission. So why?
And here's my amateurish attempt at psychoanalysis.
Because you are not equipped to handle meaning. You're not ready to find the answer to the questions you ask. The answers which, by the way, are not in the places you look, and are in all the places you don't.
You deliberately blind yourself with your randomness, because the meaning that is there, you don't want to find. You sabotage yourself, essentially. Because something in you is desperate to retain your illusions. It's strange. You're so idealistic - refusing to settle for less than perfect, childishly insisting that it must be Just So before it can even begin to be - that you style yourself a cynic because logically you tell yourself perfection is impossible and hence resign yourself to a life of pessimism and glass-is-half-empty perspectives simply because what you've got has a few chips in it.
You sabotage yourself because something in you knows that the minute you relinquish your idealism/cynicism, the only thing there is left for you is reality. There's no more of what could be/should be/would be/can't be, there's only what is. And that is something you can't/won't handle. Because you are still smart enough to know that responsibility waits for you, and you steel yourself against it, shrouding yourself in the excuse of being lost.
It would be laudable if you were aware of all this, but it's laughable because you're not.
